"your heart needs a rest Londy..."

That's what I heard today, "your heart needs a rest...". Yes I agree, my heart has been through a lot in the past 6 years or so... times of complete joy, times of total grief... yeah, it is tired.

But that's not what he meant. My recent MUGA scan showed that my heart is starting to not work as well as before. Most likely due to the herceptin of course. Herceptin can cause heart damage and symptoms like congestive heart failure. So after today's infusion I will be off herceptin for a couple of months.

Damn. Yes I know how important heart function is, but it also scares the crap out of me to go off it. I voiced my fears to Dr. Johnson "I'm afraid I'll start growing cancers again..." and he pointed out that I was "still on Tamoxifen right?" and that is very good at prevention. Then he added in that serious no-nonsense tone "but if you notice anything call me right away".
I also finally remembered to ask him what everyone asks me all the time... "how long do you take this drug?" He said he considers herceptin a "maintenance" drug... so in therory I could be on it all my life. Except for this heart thing of course.. I guess with periodic rests and if my heart recovers during those rests....hopefully I can be on it for a long, long time.

Naturally as soon as I could I googled it and found that I do have several of the indications of a herceptin heart reaction. Some of them I've passed off as part of my surgery recovery or lung problem or perhaps even my recent sinus infection.... I guess we shall see what problems disappear during the next couple of months.

I also had crazy-high blood pressure. I've had it nearly every time I've gone in for my chemo and my infusions without chemo. But I've also not had it when I had it checked at my OBGYN.... hmmm... curious.

I asked Susan, the chemo-nurse dynamo, (whom I realized today I now like more than my friends.. but that's a different blog...) if it could be a result of the heart problem and she said that the heart problem usually causes low blood pressure.

She mentioned some other causes such as gaining weight, stress and then she said "it might just be how you are now...this could be how you will be..." Hmmmm... okay. Both her and Dr. Johnson suggested monitoring it at times other than my treatment visits. Dr. Johnson said with a chuckle; that "most people's blood pressure goes up when the come to see the cancer doctor." Point taken.

So the next couple of months will be an interesting time. I'm going to monitor the blood pressure, keep track of changes in how I feel and in my body. I'm going to try the low-sodium diet thing and as for lowering my stress.. well... uh...sure...where do I even start?

There used to be a British comedy on the PBS station here. I don't remember what it was called but in it a couple buys a farm and tries to become "self sufficient". I used to fantasize about that. They live on food they grow on the land, heat with a fire burning heater, barter for services, bake their own bread and so on... and of course they have disapproving upper crust neighbors much like the Clampets did on Beverly Hillbillies. Much comedy follows... and it seemed so fun to me at times. I would think "yeah, I could do that..". So if you see me ditching my appliances for wood burning stoves and I start hang drying my laundry outside you'll know why....

Happy New Year!