Christmas ain't what it used to be...

Christmas used to be a big deal. It used to mean a large family gathering at my parents house with a turkey dinner and all the trimmings. Sure my big sister would get bored a few hours into it all and need to go shopping or something.. anywhere... Dad would fuss over the dinner cooking and the cleaning up and make everyone feel like they weren't doing enough. There was some drinking and few outside smokers...a grandkid or two here and there. It was heaven. It may not have been appreciated by all of us at the time... or perhaps just not appreciated enough.

A few hours after dinner eveyone had to go somewhere; other families, drop in's for dessert, whatever. There was often a feeling of "oh we just have sooo much to do...". There wasn't enough enjoyment of the moment and now it's gone.

My parents are gone... there is no "home" to go home to "go home for Christmas" anymore. I suppose that happens in all families. Once the parent generation is gone it all changes. Everyone has their own "families" or somewhere else to be.

That is what I am still struggling to do; make Christmas for my family. My family of me, my son and our two cats. It's just us. It seems wrong; like I'm cheating my son out of the big joyus Christmas that you see in all the TV shows. I wish there was one kid's TV show with a single Mom. They either have suspiciously absent parents or some cozy bear family that lives in a tree.

This year had extra complications. It takes all the energy I've got to get through a normal day; forget fighting crowds and shopping. A lot of the traditions I had tried to build were just impossible for me to do; I couldn't put lights up outside or bake the endless cookies I did the last couple of years. Plus how do you buy for Santa when your child is with you? There was no way. At least I got my child's Father to put up the tree...

Then on about the 22nd I realized I had no gifts for my child... none. I had to do something fast or we would not get a visit from Santa.
In tears of desperation I called my big Brother Lee who jumped to the rescue. He braved a blizzard... really.. you should see the snow here...and went shopping at midnight. He then wrapped and organized all the gifts and in the wee hours of the snowy morning when most people are still sleeping; snuck them into the back of my truck.

I braved a new foot of snow at about 7a.m. to get them from the truck and sneak them into the garage so they could go under the tree that night. Without Lee we would have had no Christmas.

As I was sneaking the gifts into the house after my son finally went to sleep around 1am I realized that I forgot to mention to him to get something from Santa for me and the cats. So my stocking had a few odd things in it; batteries and a head-strap flashlight.. lol. And well.. I had to convince my son that the cats woke up early and ate all their gifts because Santa brought them such yummy treats. I'm not sure he believes me.

Some day when he is older I'll tell him about Lee and how Christmas came about this year. And I have a new appreciation for my Mom who used to stock away odd gifts "just in case". She kept a shelf of things that you could go to and find something for someone at any time. She was one smart lady.