So you don't think I'm addicted to Lortab then?... Can I have some more??

Yesterday I had my what is now my every 3 weeks routine; an infusion of anti-cancer drugs. I was looking forward to talking to Dr. Johnson. For the past couple of weeks I have been in pain... a strange type of pain I haven't felt before. It would wake me at night, stop me during the day and make me really crabby. It is like a throbbing, flu type ache in my legs and sometimes my arms too. If upon waking in the morning my Lortab had worn off and I was in pain it was difficult to walk. I was baffled and frightened.

I also noticed that my Lortab didn't last as long as before. It used to be that I only had to lick a Lortab and my pain would go away... okay maybe not quite that. But a year ago 1/4 of a Lortab 10 would have me pain free. Even free of that February 13th, 4 p.m. kind of pain that only a florist knows. While I was on chemo my need jumped from that to first 1/2 and then a whole pill to rid me of the pain. Then when I was in the hospital it jumped to 2 whole pills with supplementation for breakthrough pain...

After my surgery I was on 2 Lortab 10 every 6 hours. When I tried to taper off to 1 pill every 6 hours the problem began. I figured it's been over a month since the surgery now; I should be able to do without painkillers. My rationalization was backed up by the fact that I had exhausted my perscription from Dr. Goff weeks ago. I was using some from an early prescription from another Doctor. So you see... I started to think I was a Lortab addict.

I knew it wasn't cancer pain; and it wasn't localized... wtf? I also knew I was miserable and yesterday morning at 5 a.m. I took my last Lortab on a no longer refillable prescription. Slight panic set in...okay more than slight.. kind of huge panic.. Naturally I searched the 'net for withdrawl symptoms etc. I'm starting to think I'm going down the Rush Limbaugh path....

So I ask Dr. Johnson about all this and describe my pain. He says "I think you are just trying to wean off it too fast". whew. So then I ask if I can "have another presciption?" Oh so you don't think I'm addicted? Great! Can I have some more??? Sort of funny... but I was very relieved when he said "yes". He also suggested another non-narcotic pain killer to slowly change over to that I can take for a longer period of time if necessary. And so far it's all working well.

My tumor markers remain in the normal range and the dead tumor in my breast is shrinking! And I have learned that pain killers are not such a bad thing if you use them correctly... I'm not so afraid of them anymore Ahhhh.. only 2 more hours and I can take another......